She is in my trunk
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
