I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
