from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
