Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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