Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Drunk is a universal language darling
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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