I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
