If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
