I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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