I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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