I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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