Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
