Swine flu. Run for my life!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
