ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i think i just lost a toe
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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