You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
