I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
