I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
