SEEEEXXX PLEASE
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
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I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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