he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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