Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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