I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize