You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
