woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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