Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
