How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
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You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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