You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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