we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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