Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize