so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
