you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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