You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you win again, gameday.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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