im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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