New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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