you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
