the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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