I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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