it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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