some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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