Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
