I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
