So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
