What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
