hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
