The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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