If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
