Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Randomize
