Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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