i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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