I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Non-Jews are for practice
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
