I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize