he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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