is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
