$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
