The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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