Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
