i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
