so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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