My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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