it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize