I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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