i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
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