i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
