last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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