You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
