Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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