..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
